Is Leaving the Only Choice?

What do you do when you’re in a toxic environment, but you’re also hopeful and optimistic that things will turn around? Apart from being naturally optimistic, you also speak to the company's CEO, who says good times are around the corner. You hold on. You lose a part of yourself and your soul, but you keep on chugging. The light at the end of the tunnel is near. You will see/feel happy days again. 

Everyone in the company, except those on your team who make your working life difficult, is amazing. Team members from other departments see your value. They tell you to hold on; they say things will get better, and they tell you that you are worth it.  They tell you they see what you’re doing, and they really appreciate it. 

You question your worth, but you keep chugging on. Early mornings and late nights. Lots of projects and productivity. From the outside looking in, burnout is the logical explanation. 

But you know the real deal – the toxic environment you’re in. 

Previously people left their job because they felt they didn’t make enough money or because their immediate supervisor was challenging to work with. Now it seems that toxic workplaces are the reason people leave their positions. It’s no longer just their immediate manager; it's everyone who aligns with that manager and creates the hostile workplace. 

Maybe the Great Resignation is partly due to people being sick of being treated poorly and taken advantage of. I know I was. I knew it was time to make a change when work consumed everything I did, day and night, and I never took a day off. Weekends too. My worst time period was Sunday evening, when I knew I’d have work the next day and could not think of any reason to avoid it. 

It was this ball of impending doom in my stomach that only grew larger throughout the week, and then Friday night almost disappeared, only to reappear Sunday night. And stay the whole week like an uninvited guest. 

I couldn’t be myself anymore. I was weighed down by negativity at work. I could never relax, and I realized I had stopped being myself. I was grumpy more often than not. I tried to read a book for six months and could never read more than five pages at a time. My mental capacity to focus was naught. I was consumed with work and how I thought I could make things better. Needless to say, this is very unhealthy. 

I can tell you I did everything I thought I could to manage it. I tried to be extra positive, speak to coworkers to see if it was just me feeling this way (it wasn’t), and even ask for time to talk with the CEO. I told myself the dark period would pass, and there would be rainbows after all. When you are in a toxic environment, you think something is wrong with you, like an abusive boyfriend. You try everything to change yourself, but you are still suffering. 

So what can be done when you are in this situation? Some say that the time shall pass. Suck it up, and things will get better. There are good days with the light at the end of the tunnel. But from firsthand experience, I can tell you that is not the case. Things do not get better. They only get worse and worse and just leave you doubting everything – even yourself. So do what I did. 

Just leave. You can’t fix it, and you can’t make people treat you with respect and common courtesy. The problem will only end with your departure. You will be happier. You will see the sun shining and feel it glisten on your skin again. You will feel joy again. That little plant within you withering away will finally start to grow.